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What can I do to make the divorce process easier for my children?

Last year in the UK, nearly 40% of all marriages ended in divorce. It's bad enough when two people fall out of love and decide to separate but when there are children involved it's infinitely worse

If you are going through a divorce it’s your job as a parent to help your children deal with the situation. Even if you’re struggling to cope with what’s happening yourself, you must pull things together for the sake of your kids.

With this in mind, five of the best tips to help your children get through this awful period are as follows:

If you're going through divorce the most important thing you can give your children is reassurance. You need to let them know that, firstly, everything is going to be okay, and, secondly, that you and their father still love them very much. Many children will feel in some way to blame for your break up. It’s vital you dispel this belief very quickly and remove the weight of guilt from their shoulders.

Stay strong in front of them
Children need to feel that you’re in control and coping well with the situation. It encourages them to stay calm and worry less about what the future holds.

Don't rush them into a new Daddy
Even if you find a new partner right away (or perhaps he was part of the reason for the divorce), you must be careful not to force him on to your kids. Children take time to adapt particularly when it’s something as monumental as this. Take your time and introduce him gradually. Just don’t expect you kids to like him at the start.

Encourage them to talk
You should try to talk openly about the situation with your children and encourage them to share their feelings. However, many children may not want to talk about the divorce and it’s important not to force them to. They will talk to you in their own time. Just make it clear that you're always there for them.

Try not to be negative about your former partner
It can be tempting to criticise your partner in front of your children to get your own back on him or to try to turn them against him. But who is this really helping? Yes, it might make you feel better but it's not in the interests of the children to encourage them to think poorly of their father.

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